Minus 1 for the clumsy setup for "to be continued". Sometimes awkward word choice hints at second-guessing the narrator. 7.5 (wording often postpones action on the reader and
pic of black women
Athena (technical quality). Rating of "building bridges" So keep writing, Nick. I'll read the next chapter; For various reasons I did not enjoy this story, but I found it interesting.
A few grammatical lapses can be forgiven, but the style seems remote at times for such hot topics. The voice of the narrator's real peaks through what looks like overthought prose.
There is a certain charm in the story. Honestly story never lit any fires for me in the first place.
I have not been turned off because of the violence, because. Violence is soft, but the threat is, some people are turned off by this. Violence and sex, and the complex relationship between these concepts among office workers.
Control, love. But it seems that the story about the status. Since it is incomplete, I can not be sure that any of the plot points. Kind of like a horse opera turned into a space opera, adding spaceships and ray guns.
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